That D.C. United is terrible is no longer noteworthy.
When United closes out the season on Sunday against Houston with 3 wins in 34 matches, the more remarkable measure of futility will be that if they are shutout, both Mike Magee and Marco Di Vaio will have a chance to score as many goals (both have scored 20 this season with a game to go) as D.C. United has scored collectively as a team (21).
Even more remarkably, the management of the squad is so spectacularly inept that there isn't a plausible basis for expecting significant improvement in 2014.
Ben Olsen, despite coaching the team to a U.S. Open Cup championship, needs to be separated from the team. That he will not be -- based, ostensibly, on the U.S. Open Cup run -- is hysterical; this is a competition of so little meaning to the club that the games are not held at RFK but out at the SoccerPlex. While we love the games and look forward to the trips to Boyds every season, this is not a venue that is practically accessible to many United supporters. The feat is therefore largely a theoretical notion, abstracted because it happened entirely separate from the crap United supporters have had to endure for league games at RFK.
Still, we go. And still, the club has found ways to make the gameday experience so enjoyable that it doesn't matter to my kids that the team we're supposed to root for is abysmal. My girls have taken penalty kicks on the field, my eldest was able to "train" with United players on the pitch at RFK, my youngest asks to go just to get her face painted, we've seen a practice, and the Meet the Team Day 2013 was fantastic. When the Fire ripped apart United, while the VW Garage was closed and there was basically nothing for the kids to do, they cracked themselves up by making up goofy cheers and encouraging other kids to join in.
Nevertheless, it is fitting that the lasting memory I will have of this D.C. United season will be unpleasant and took place at, of all places, Ludwig on Saturday night.
We walked into the Wake Forest game a little late and, handing over our tickets, I looked up to see Josh Wolff standing next to us. Two of Josh's sons trailed behind him, alongside my girls, and Wolff hustled them forward. The reason Josh was asking his boys to move quickly became clear when we rounded the merchandise booth: Standing over by the courtesy ticket overhang was an agitated and animated Kurt Morsink ranting at a staff person.
Retelling the story at FedEx this afternoon, a friend called it the most pathetic "Do You Know Who I Am Story?" that he'd heard. The total cost for bringing in the partial Wolff clan to the game was $20 at the ticket booth. A dude who works for a professional sports club should appreciate, beyond most, the minimal discretion afforded to staff holding comps. But there was Morsink, who looked, from where I stood, to be berating staff.
Now maybe this is wrong or maybe there was some good reason for Morsink's behavior. I could have walked over to confirm what I think I saw, but by the time Wolff had pulled Morsink away, I was so viscerally angered by the sight that I was shouting epithets in front of my kids.
It is beyond comprehension that Morsink is a scouting coordinator for a first division professional soccer team. Perhaps he's objectively great at the job. But there is no way that I would ever treat someone working at DC United in a similar fashion. And I cannot imagine behaving like that at a place that has produced several of the members of your first team roster and where academy players are currently housed.
This is a different D.C. United in terms of the boy's club that now runs the player side of the club. Forget accountability. Instead it is kerosene.
Monday, October 21, 2013
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Taking Care of the Kids
I overemphasize process. The end result, the actual execution of a game plan, is what ultimately matters. But the development of nascent talent or the construction of a strategy can be just as captivating.
I enjoy spring training. Not for the fake games, but for the chance to see coaches working directly with players and eavesdropping on evaluations or advice. I am probably one of a handful of supporters that was excited about D.C. United opening up a single practice to season ticket holders this year.
Maryland football opens a scrimmage to fans this last Saturday? I'm there. If nothing else, it is an opportunity to watch the implementation of the read option by a group of quarterbacks with different skill sets.
My eldest decided to join me for the afternoon and, as is convention for Maryland football events, Pepsi-sponsored activities were provided for kids, including a bounce house. The equipment sale let her buy a used jersey that she quickly converted into a dress. And the families of players in the stands provided the rest of her entertainment for the day.
The key to enjoying Maryland's "Fan Appreciation Day" is moving quickly away from seats within earshot of Maryland "supporters" who loudly criticize the players, the coaches, the school for their obvious collective and individual incompetence. There's no way to get away from this pestilence once the season starts and you are wedded to your seats. But this is just a scrimmage and you can move around until you find a section populated by players' families, for whom the novelty of seeing their kid play Division I football has yet to wear thin.
An example: The fans know that the quarterback should have taken the obvious option. They know that there was a man open in the flat and they know a football should have been delivered there. The families, on the other hand, remark at the speed of the game. They remark at how much bigger and faster everyone has become. They marvel at the development of these young men, even when there is much, much further to go.
These observations are further driven home later, after the scrimmage, when you are down on the turf with your kid watching the players interact with their parents, siblings, and extended family. My daughter could not get over how big some of the players were. Some of the players' families could not get over hearing their sons called "sir" by fans.
It ain't all light and sweetness. The bulk of the people that have come out were angling for a Stefon Diggs autograph or memento. While the team sat easily at tables spread the length of the field, barricades were set up at midfield to create two distinct lines. One for Coach Edsall and one for Mr. Diggs, although the extra demarcation for the former didn't seem necessary. Diggs is the show -- and he deserves to be -- but his tangible benefits from the limelight at this moment are no different from any other scholarship athlete.
My daughter has never waited for an autograph from Maryland's #1. She does not know who he is, other than when I repeat to her (for no apparent purpose) that she saw him play at Good Counsel. Instead, she knows Joe Riddle and Michael Tart, having bought a #29 jersey in honor of players that have always happily signed her helmets and let her know that her presence was appreciated. She knows Dexter McDougle, having seen him repeatedly at gymnastics meets. She knows Shawn Petty, Alex Twine, and Anthony Nixon Jr., because I can't stop telling her how good they are. She knows Zimuzo Nwaigwe because I tell her how hard he's worked to sit behind that table.
She knows all of them because the program makes the players accessible to its young fans and because the players, in the main, participate with good humor and a convincing sense of gratitude that the kids have taken an interest.
And so it ends up not just being a practice session for the players. Saturday afternoon was also a dry run for me. My eldest now says she wants to go to games this season, as long as it is not too hot. There's a process: open events for fans + bouncy house + likable, good-humored players = fans.
I enjoy spring training. Not for the fake games, but for the chance to see coaches working directly with players and eavesdropping on evaluations or advice. I am probably one of a handful of supporters that was excited about D.C. United opening up a single practice to season ticket holders this year.
Maryland football opens a scrimmage to fans this last Saturday? I'm there. If nothing else, it is an opportunity to watch the implementation of the read option by a group of quarterbacks with different skill sets.
My eldest decided to join me for the afternoon and, as is convention for Maryland football events, Pepsi-sponsored activities were provided for kids, including a bounce house. The equipment sale let her buy a used jersey that she quickly converted into a dress. And the families of players in the stands provided the rest of her entertainment for the day.
The key to enjoying Maryland's "Fan Appreciation Day" is moving quickly away from seats within earshot of Maryland "supporters" who loudly criticize the players, the coaches, the school for their obvious collective and individual incompetence. There's no way to get away from this pestilence once the season starts and you are wedded to your seats. But this is just a scrimmage and you can move around until you find a section populated by players' families, for whom the novelty of seeing their kid play Division I football has yet to wear thin.
An example: The fans know that the quarterback should have taken the obvious option. They know that there was a man open in the flat and they know a football should have been delivered there. The families, on the other hand, remark at the speed of the game. They remark at how much bigger and faster everyone has become. They marvel at the development of these young men, even when there is much, much further to go.
These observations are further driven home later, after the scrimmage, when you are down on the turf with your kid watching the players interact with their parents, siblings, and extended family. My daughter could not get over how big some of the players were. Some of the players' families could not get over hearing their sons called "sir" by fans.
It ain't all light and sweetness. The bulk of the people that have come out were angling for a Stefon Diggs autograph or memento. While the team sat easily at tables spread the length of the field, barricades were set up at midfield to create two distinct lines. One for Coach Edsall and one for Mr. Diggs, although the extra demarcation for the former didn't seem necessary. Diggs is the show -- and he deserves to be -- but his tangible benefits from the limelight at this moment are no different from any other scholarship athlete.
My daughter has never waited for an autograph from Maryland's #1. She does not know who he is, other than when I repeat to her (for no apparent purpose) that she saw him play at Good Counsel. Instead, she knows Joe Riddle and Michael Tart, having bought a #29 jersey in honor of players that have always happily signed her helmets and let her know that her presence was appreciated. She knows Dexter McDougle, having seen him repeatedly at gymnastics meets. She knows Shawn Petty, Alex Twine, and Anthony Nixon Jr., because I can't stop telling her how good they are. She knows Zimuzo Nwaigwe because I tell her how hard he's worked to sit behind that table.
She knows all of them because the program makes the players accessible to its young fans and because the players, in the main, participate with good humor and a convincing sense of gratitude that the kids have taken an interest.
And so it ends up not just being a practice session for the players. Saturday afternoon was also a dry run for me. My eldest now says she wants to go to games this season, as long as it is not too hot. There's a process: open events for fans + bouncy house + likable, good-humored players = fans.
Monday, June 24, 2013
Meeting the Team
This has been a tough season as a United supporter. There is no shortage of things about which to complain. Despite a league win last night and a decent run in the U.S. Open Cup that continues Wednesday, there is little hope for any meaningful turnaround. And the long term prospects for the franchise are weak.
Still, there is nothing better in the professional sports world than being a D.C. United supporter and season ticket holder. Today was the club's "Meet the Team Day." In the midst of a historically bad season, players mingled easily with fans and the club made nearly everyone involved with the operational management of the team available to the public. Coach Olsen didn't man an autograph table, but he did conduct a question and answer session with fans in the visitor's clubhouse.
The "Meet the Team Day" is a specially-calendered event with my daughter, the only absolute must-do of the season. Every year it seems to get better. More access, more activities, more opportunities for interactions. The club may not be able to sell a stadium experience or an on field product that merits significant investment of time and treasure, but it can sell its people.
For professional athletes, the bulk of United's roster are ridiculously nice people. Beyond their enthusiasm for making connections with supporters, the stories that staff tell about individual players paint a portrait of down-to-earth athletes who value camaraderie more highly than their own glorification.
This is the first year that my eldest has wanted to stay until the very end of the event. That is almost entirely due to the players (face painting and dipping dots also played a role) and their families.
Thank you, D.C. United, for another very nice afternoon.
Still, there is nothing better in the professional sports world than being a D.C. United supporter and season ticket holder. Today was the club's "Meet the Team Day." In the midst of a historically bad season, players mingled easily with fans and the club made nearly everyone involved with the operational management of the team available to the public. Coach Olsen didn't man an autograph table, but he did conduct a question and answer session with fans in the visitor's clubhouse.
The "Meet the Team Day" is a specially-calendered event with my daughter, the only absolute must-do of the season. Every year it seems to get better. More access, more activities, more opportunities for interactions. The club may not be able to sell a stadium experience or an on field product that merits significant investment of time and treasure, but it can sell its people.
For professional athletes, the bulk of United's roster are ridiculously nice people. Beyond their enthusiasm for making connections with supporters, the stories that staff tell about individual players paint a portrait of down-to-earth athletes who value camaraderie more highly than their own glorification.
This is the first year that my eldest has wanted to stay until the very end of the event. That is almost entirely due to the players (face painting and dipping dots also played a role) and their families.
Thank you, D.C. United, for another very nice afternoon.
Sunday, June 9, 2013
Turnaround
How quickly can a flailing, comically incompetent franchise turns its fortunes around?
It turns out that with capable management, pretty fast.
Attending Mystics games the past two seasons has been more of a political act than a chance to catch a sporting event. I want my daughters to see women's professional basketball at Verizon because women's professional basketball should exist. But its been a drag. The coaching and management have been so horrid that you walk away feeling bad for the players and happy for the ones that were able to escape. And with DC BasketCases bringing to a close their terrific blog, if the Mystics were terrible again this season, it is a tree falling in the middle of the forest.
So no pomp and circumstance for the game against the Lynx tonight. I justified the trip downtown with reference to the homecoming of Georgetown's Sugar Rodgers and Rebekkah Brunson.
Now it bugs me that Washington opted for Ohio State's Tayler Hill over Tianna Hawkins in this year's draft. But, with Hill getting significant minutes on the floor and Monique Currie and Crystal Langhorne at the 3 and 4, the 2013 iteration of the Mystics' is well-balanced inside and outside.
Yes, Washington fell apart in the fourth quarter. But after scoring only eight points in the first nine minutes of the quarter, Washington notched ten in the last fifty-one seconds, including making eight of eight free throws and a back breaking nothing but net turnaround fadeaway jumper from Kia Vaughn.
Three wins in four games. For a team that won five all of last year and six the year before that. It has been a long time -- a long time -- since we have paid attention to the end of a Mystics game. That was fun.
Now if the team can convince enough people to show up to justify re-opening the Dunkin Donuts on game nights, we will be back in business.
It turns out that with capable management, pretty fast.
Attending Mystics games the past two seasons has been more of a political act than a chance to catch a sporting event. I want my daughters to see women's professional basketball at Verizon because women's professional basketball should exist. But its been a drag. The coaching and management have been so horrid that you walk away feeling bad for the players and happy for the ones that were able to escape. And with DC BasketCases bringing to a close their terrific blog, if the Mystics were terrible again this season, it is a tree falling in the middle of the forest.
So no pomp and circumstance for the game against the Lynx tonight. I justified the trip downtown with reference to the homecoming of Georgetown's Sugar Rodgers and Rebekkah Brunson.
Now it bugs me that Washington opted for Ohio State's Tayler Hill over Tianna Hawkins in this year's draft. But, with Hill getting significant minutes on the floor and Monique Currie and Crystal Langhorne at the 3 and 4, the 2013 iteration of the Mystics' is well-balanced inside and outside.
Yes, Washington fell apart in the fourth quarter. But after scoring only eight points in the first nine minutes of the quarter, Washington notched ten in the last fifty-one seconds, including making eight of eight free throws and a back breaking nothing but net turnaround fadeaway jumper from Kia Vaughn.
Three wins in four games. For a team that won five all of last year and six the year before that. It has been a long time -- a long time -- since we have paid attention to the end of a Mystics game. That was fun.
Now if the team can convince enough people to show up to justify re-opening the Dunkin Donuts on game nights, we will be back in business.
Monday, May 27, 2013
Doing the Maths
The face paint and dipping dots on offer for the Sporting KC match meant no problems convincing the family to spend a Friday night welcoming Rodney Wallace back to RFK. More face paint and more dipping dots allowed me to see number 22's game winner and Darlington Nagbe's goal.
Neither kid asked to leave. Instead, after watching Pajoy sky a beautiful ball from DeRosario that had unlocked Portland's defense, I decided I was not having any fun. I left the stadium angry, along with hundreds of other supporters.
One story supporters appear to be trying to convince themselves of now is that a cheap and apathetic front office has handcuffed the coaching staff. As if it would matter if more high priced talent was sitting on the bench. This is a team headed up by someone who is incapable of figuring out how to play the highest-paid player on the roster with Carlos Ruiz. This is a team headed up by someone who would not play Branko Boskovic or Hamdi Salihi while perennially taking shots at the Rapid Vienna alums perceived fitness deficiencies.
But, sure, the front office sucks for not tossing more good money after bad.
With the Galaxy's 4-0 drubbing of the Sounders, the single table for the MLS looks like this:
And if you do the arithmetic for the MLS salaries published by the Major League Soccer Players Union through May 1st -- conceding that this listing doesn't reflect recent transactions -- it is true that at the highest levels, large team salaries correspond with the top of the table:
But it doesn't exactly dictate D.C. United's position in the league table. If for some reason you support Chivas, you can complain. But you'd still be rooting for a team that has twice as many points as D.C. United, for a third less in salary.
Olsen's Army.
Neither kid asked to leave. Instead, after watching Pajoy sky a beautiful ball from DeRosario that had unlocked Portland's defense, I decided I was not having any fun. I left the stadium angry, along with hundreds of other supporters.
One story supporters appear to be trying to convince themselves of now is that a cheap and apathetic front office has handcuffed the coaching staff. As if it would matter if more high priced talent was sitting on the bench. This is a team headed up by someone who is incapable of figuring out how to play the highest-paid player on the roster with Carlos Ruiz. This is a team headed up by someone who would not play Branko Boskovic or Hamdi Salihi while perennially taking shots at the Rapid Vienna alums perceived fitness deficiencies.
But, sure, the front office sucks for not tossing more good money after bad.
With the Galaxy's 4-0 drubbing of the Sounders, the single table for the MLS looks like this:
| Rankings | Team | Points |
| 1 | FC Dallas | 27 |
| 2 | Red Bulls | 25 |
| 3 | LA Galaxy | 23 |
| 4 | Montreal | 23 |
| 5 | Timbers | 22 |
| 6 | Sporting KC | 22 |
| 7 | Houston | 21 |
| 8 | Real Salt Lake | 21 |
| 9 | Colorado | 19 |
| 10 | Philadelphia | 18 |
| 11 | Columbus | 16 |
| 12 | New England | 16 |
| 13 | Seattle | 15 |
| 14 | San Jose | 15 |
| 15 | Vancouver | 13 |
| 16 | Chivas USA | 11 |
| 17 | Chicago | 8 |
| 18 | Toronto | 7 |
| 19 | DC United | 5 |
And if you do the arithmetic for the MLS salaries published by the Major League Soccer Players Union through May 1st -- conceding that this listing doesn't reflect recent transactions -- it is true that at the highest levels, large team salaries correspond with the top of the table:
| Rankings | Team | Salary |
| 1 | Red Bulls | $10,860,961 |
| 2 | LA Galaxy | $9,685,263 |
| 3 | Seattle | $5,958,812 |
| 4 | Montreal | $5,452,074 |
| 5 | Vancouver | $4,809,279 |
| 6 | Toronto | $4,710,844 |
| 7 | Chicago | $4,333,356 |
| 8 | FC Dallas | $4,244,861 |
| 9 | DC United | $3,906,064 |
| 10 | Philadelphia | $3,832,575 |
| 11 | Sporting KC | $3,783,882 |
| 12 | Houston | $3,648,642 |
| 13 | Real Salt Lake | $3,646,401 |
| 14 | Columbus | $3,615,002 |
| 15 | Timbers | $3,564,502 |
| 16 | New England | $3,482,085 |
| 17 | San Jose | $3,371,908 |
| 18 | Colorado | $3,371,325 |
| 19 | Chivas USA | $2,607,147 |
But it doesn't exactly dictate D.C. United's position in the league table. If for some reason you support Chivas, you can complain. But you'd still be rooting for a team that has twice as many points as D.C. United, for a third less in salary.
Olsen's Army.
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Good Time
Supporting D.C. United has descended into torpor. With Ben Olsen as coach and three former Terrapins on the roster, I cannot bring myself to get that angry about the team. And complaining more that I have already done ain't exactly cathartic. But, this is depressing and going to matches isn't a priority, even if we've paid for a season of tickets.
Still, we went yesterday to watch the match with Sporting KC, driven largely by the opportunity to see Graham Zusi in person again. Come for the Zusi, stay for a D.C. United starting lineup of Taylor Kemp, Casey Townsend, and Ethan White (18% Maryland!).
Sure, Kemp was bizarrely substituted out at halftime rather than placed at left back with Daniel Woolard making way for Chris Pontius. And, sure, just as space started to open in Sporting's defense in the final third, Casey was replaced by Lionard Pajoy -- a substitution at the hour mark that preceded a Kansas City corner kick that inevitably led to a goal. Whatever. At least I got to see Taylor and Casey play in a real game.
More to the point, whatever. Because what happens on the pitch is, at this point, secondary. While the club continues to be killed for supposed failings in building a competitive roster (really?), the team's management builds an even better gameday experience in a ridiculous environment.
We watched the first half at the VW Club. Waiting in the club? An excellent face-painter for children, wonderful staff, and a neat little contraption composed of an elevated treadmill with dribbling cones. If I had problems getting the kids up for going to a United match before, that obstacle has been removed.
After Townsend was withdrawn from the field of play, we walked up to the Champions Club for the rest of the second half. It was our first time up in the newly christened space and delivers exactly what was promised -- no lines for good food and alcohol, lots of kids running around, and nice perspective from behind the goal opposite the VW Club.
It is RFK. The stadium is dire. D.C. United could get away with just letting everything crumble around them. They don't. Instead, the club does what it can with the space. The club hasn't given up and is not asking supporters to suck it up until the pipedream of a new stadium comes to fruition. No one is going to give the club's administration kudos for putting lipstick on a pig. That's wrong. Ben Olsen's United may be unimaginative and plodding, but D.C. United itself has built a little wonderland that is remarkably kid-friendly.
Still, we went yesterday to watch the match with Sporting KC, driven largely by the opportunity to see Graham Zusi in person again. Come for the Zusi, stay for a D.C. United starting lineup of Taylor Kemp, Casey Townsend, and Ethan White (18% Maryland!).
Sure, Kemp was bizarrely substituted out at halftime rather than placed at left back with Daniel Woolard making way for Chris Pontius. And, sure, just as space started to open in Sporting's defense in the final third, Casey was replaced by Lionard Pajoy -- a substitution at the hour mark that preceded a Kansas City corner kick that inevitably led to a goal. Whatever. At least I got to see Taylor and Casey play in a real game.
More to the point, whatever. Because what happens on the pitch is, at this point, secondary. While the club continues to be killed for supposed failings in building a competitive roster (really?), the team's management builds an even better gameday experience in a ridiculous environment.
We watched the first half at the VW Club. Waiting in the club? An excellent face-painter for children, wonderful staff, and a neat little contraption composed of an elevated treadmill with dribbling cones. If I had problems getting the kids up for going to a United match before, that obstacle has been removed.
After Townsend was withdrawn from the field of play, we walked up to the Champions Club for the rest of the second half. It was our first time up in the newly christened space and delivers exactly what was promised -- no lines for good food and alcohol, lots of kids running around, and nice perspective from behind the goal opposite the VW Club.
It is RFK. The stadium is dire. D.C. United could get away with just letting everything crumble around them. They don't. Instead, the club does what it can with the space. The club hasn't given up and is not asking supporters to suck it up until the pipedream of a new stadium comes to fruition. No one is going to give the club's administration kudos for putting lipstick on a pig. That's wrong. Ben Olsen's United may be unimaginative and plodding, but D.C. United itself has built a little wonderland that is remarkably kid-friendly.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Inside Look
Another miserable couple of hours at RFK and it is now fashionable to malign D.C. United's management as not caring enough.
Don't believe it.
The club has done more to connect with fans this season than at any other time during our tenure as season ticket holders. From the owners down through administrative staff, the message that is being conveyed is that the organization values its customer base.
On Saturday, we attended a training session opened up for STHolders. For my daughter and I, it was a unique and awkward opportunity to see professional athletes prepare for a match. So unique, in fact, that some of the staff noted that it was their first chance to see a practice as well. And awkward because of the insight afforded into the inner workings of United's coaching and player personnel. Stuff maybe you wish you didn't know or could forget... like, wow, this is exactly what I thought the coaches screamed at players... holy schikes, this season is going to be awful.
The timing couldn't be worse. United's efforts to enhance fans' experience is simultaneous to an on-field product that insults the fans' (limited) knowledge of the sport.
It won't get better. The talent level on the roster is fine. It is good enough to win games in the MLS. Injuries aren't a substantial limiting factor. The answer is not better execution. Better execution of a crappy gameplan is a well-executed crappy gameplan.
7 games, 4 points.
Don't believe it.
The club has done more to connect with fans this season than at any other time during our tenure as season ticket holders. From the owners down through administrative staff, the message that is being conveyed is that the organization values its customer base.
On Saturday, we attended a training session opened up for STHolders. For my daughter and I, it was a unique and awkward opportunity to see professional athletes prepare for a match. So unique, in fact, that some of the staff noted that it was their first chance to see a practice as well. And awkward because of the insight afforded into the inner workings of United's coaching and player personnel. Stuff maybe you wish you didn't know or could forget... like, wow, this is exactly what I thought the coaches screamed at players... holy schikes, this season is going to be awful.
The timing couldn't be worse. United's efforts to enhance fans' experience is simultaneous to an on-field product that insults the fans' (limited) knowledge of the sport.
It won't get better. The talent level on the roster is fine. It is good enough to win games in the MLS. Injuries aren't a substantial limiting factor. The answer is not better execution. Better execution of a crappy gameplan is a well-executed crappy gameplan.
7 games, 4 points.
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